Something about a mustache breaks people’s brains. This is likely a result of nothing more than the fact that mustaches are so rare these days. There was about a 25-year stretch in American society whereupon if anyone grew a mustache, they would immediately be compared to Tom Selleck. This was true regardless of whether they actually looked like Tom Selleck, btw. Selleck was America’s designated mustache man, so every mustache led back to him.
With Selleck aging out of the public eye, it appears that the mustache-torch has been passed to Nick Offerman. So it should come as no surprise to anyone that we finally have Payton Tolle-Nick Offerman content.
Offerman, having previously worked for prominent TV comedy showrunner/Red Sox fan Michael Schur, has been a semi-regular guest on the baseball podcast hosted by Schur and Joe Posnanski. And, earlier this week, he appeared with Posnanski again and offered Tolle a mustache benediction of sorts:
“Thank you for the joy you bring, the open-mindedness and curiosity and heart and just giggles that you bring to your work,” Offerman said on the podcast while offering a message to Tolle. “I taught you well, my son.”
Offerman went on to praise Tolle’s defensive skills with handling pop-ups, as well as the pitcher’s sweet ‘stache.
“Thank you for taking the lessons of your Swanson father to heart,” Offerman joked while referencing his fan-favorite mustachioed character on “Parks and Recreation.” “And the mustache is looking great.”
Offerman revealed that he hasn’t met Tolle in person yet, but is hoping to get one of the Red Sox star’s iconic hugs.
“When I do, I hope that he’ll hold me in his arms, like a tiny mail-order bride,” Offerman said.
I will say, my cynicism of lazy ‘stache comparisons aside, I love the Offerman-Tolle synergy here. For one thing, they do actually look alike, with similar coloring and the right amount of good ol’ boy pudge in those jowls. But, moreover, they also appear to have similar outlooks on life. Offerman has a reputation as one of the nicest people in Hollywood and, while we never truly know any celebrity (Do we ever truly know anyone? Do ever truly know ourselves?) his podcast persona backs that up. Tolle, of course, is rapidly becoming known as one of the nicest, brightest personalities in baseball, and Offerman has noticed: “I really appreciate that message,” Offerman said of Tolle’s viral hug of a rival player. “When I do my comedy shows, I just always say, ‘Look, I’m going to vote for the side that promotes a hug before a punch.’”
So while Offerman is a diehard Cubs fan, here’s hoping we see him at Fenway for a Tolle start some time next season.
Use this space to talk about mustaches, pitching, bringing brightness and humor into the world, and whatever else you want and, as always, be good to each other.